A recent Huffington Post article on retirement on AOL entitled ‘5 Things Never to say to a Retiree’ caught my attention as you might expect. In truth I found them a little prosaic. It offered the following thoughts about retirement :

Don’t say to a retiree:

What will you do next? because they may not know and they may plan to do nothing at all.

Were you pushed out of your job? This is a reference to the fact that in America there is rampant age discrimination apparently.

So you’ll be seeing the grankids more. They probably feel they’ve done it once and don’t want to do it again.

Have you listed your house for sale? Apparently the majority of old people want to stay in their own home rather than heading for the retirement community.

Do you really have enough money to retire on? They probably don’t but if we wait until we have, we’ll probably be dead.

I have my own brief words of wisdom for the retired person:

Don’t expect to be happy. If you were a miserable bastard before you retired don’t expect to be any different when you retire.

Exercise will probably shorten your life. People who are super active are simply using up all the goodwill / reserves they have.

The more activities you insert into your life, the sooner you’re going to die. This either from over exertion as above or simply making it seem that your life is going quicker. Boredom is life prolonging.

Young people do not find miserable old gits interesting and do not forgive their eccentricities. Old age does not permit rudeness, mother please take note. Unless of course you’ve always been that way, then don’t change.

Do you have enough money? Almost certainly not so it’s OK to react to this question on a spectrum from mild concern to outright screaming panic / hysteria.

So these are my top 5 tips for a happy retirement. Enjoy.


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