Ahh, retirement reflections, a good or bad thing to do? Mrs Summerhouse asked me how I was feeling on one of our morning dog walks and I replied, I feel a bit in limbo. I’m not sure I’ve ever used this particular word before and it struck me as slightly odd so I looked it up. Turned out either to mean something to do with being unbaptised (not me as it happens) or an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution.
I’ll settle for the latter definition but still, I was a bit puzzled. So I felt compelled to dig deeper into my choice of words. There are a number of possible explanations for the word I thought of and probably several I haven’t considered.
The first and most obvious is that it is simply that time of year between Christmas and New Year when nothing much seems to be happening and, for all our (my) complaints about being too busy and stressed at Christmas, it doesn’t take many days of no action before I’m bored again. It’s true that at the time of writing we’ve been in the same house for over a week, so I’m a bit antsy. Leaving me, I suppose, with this explanation for feeling in limbo.
I might add to this perfectly reasonable explanation, if not to the word itself, to a feeling of some puzzlement about what 2022 will bring. I’ve spent a bit of time recently as I usually do wondering about my goals or ambitions, or whatever I’m calling them now, for next year.
As far as I’ve got has been to decide I definitely need to big up the learning value that I wrote about a short while ago. The only problem was, what kind of learning? I kept coming back to jazz learning both theoretical but also definitely practical i.e. actual playing.
You will remember that a few months ago I gave up my regular jazz workshop for a variety of reasons which I need not go into now. The point is after this interlude not only do I feel ready to start again with this learning but I can’t find a substitute. This bearing in mind that I intend to continue with my guitar playing vis a vis the Leeds Folk Fiddle group. Oh and I can’t or have no intention of going back to the old jazz workshop.
I’ve been looking around for alternatives for playing / learning jazz and they’re not easy to find. I have found one that appeared on my FB page but so far they have resisted all my attempts to contact them. I need to ask do you want and / or have you got a keyboard player. Chances are that they have and the disadvantage with being a keyboard piano player is that each ensemble generally only needs one unlike say horn players. So I’m not optimistic. And hence that limbo state again.
There are of course any number of on-line workshops say on Youtube (which has stopped working for reasons I won’t bore you with and which might, therefore lead to a new phone). And anyway on-line learning is not as much fun as live learning that’s assuming the live version is kind to my delicate sensitivities.
So yes, just at this moment, I’m feeling somewhat in limbo. And there’s another more worrying explanation for the feeling. That is that retirement generally, for some of us, manifests itself overall as a time of limbo. Especially so if you take it as that state that people find themselves in between life and moving on to another place. You know waiting for your allocated spot either in heaven or hell, if you believe in such things of course. I personally don’t but you know you can’t be too careful can you.
So I guess this is why we retirees fill our retirement with meaningful activities. To avoid obsessing on where we are at in our lives which brings me back to the learning ambition. What better way could there be of avoiding obvious conclusions (you know we’re all going to die some time, being one) than the ambition to keep on learning. To subscribe to the view that we’re never too old to learn.
Retirement reflections summary
I know some people would rephrase the term limbo into something along the lines of peaceful relaxation or something similar (put in your own version of this state) but I’m afraid it doesn’t work for me. This perfect retirement I keep banging on about isn’t found as a definition of taking it easy (although there’s a place for this of course, just not right now). Now it’s nearly 2022, it’s the time between Christmas and New Year, it’s approaching a new year of some general uncertainty and when we’re personally not as yet going anywhere, although we may go up to the barn. So yes, overall, like it or not, it’s a time of being in limbo. I hope my readers regard this period more positively than this. Happy New Year.
PS Sorry about the picture at the top of this blog I couldn’t find one I liked.