Let me just say this about retirement resolutions – they seem, if my experience is anything to go by, to get less important as I get older. Comparing my 2013 retirement blog just posted, with this year’s, shows a marked difference in attitude. In 2013 I was still taking the process very seriously even to the point of giving sensible advice to others about how to do it. This year, as you will see, I’m hardly taking them seriously at all.
I was struck when reading last Saturday’s Guardian how positively anti- resolution it was*. It made quite a thing of not setting New Year resolutions. In one article a writer had suggested, ‘self-hate is the engine that drives most people’s resolutions’. Later on their advice was, to say, ‘I’m going to deeply love myself no matter what.’ And even, ‘embracing the existing version of yourself with all its messiness and imperfections might be the most transformative thing you’ve ever done.’
OK, I can recognise that as a set of guiding principles. I can recognise the sense in what they say even if actually doing it might prove more of a challenge. What’s that you say? Completely out of the question? Surely not.
But back to the articles. In other words what the writers are saying is, let’s not bother changing anything about our lives, so forget the process of making resolutions or as I prefer to describe it, setting goals for the new year. It’s quite hard for me as an ex-psychologist who was big on goal-setting to write those words. It’s taken me eight years to arrive at this point of view with each year seeing me a little less committed to this process at the beginning of each new year.
Of course it wouldn’t be me, even the 73 year old, retired version of me, if I didn’t have at least one eye on the future and a few, small considerations about what that ‘perfect retirement’ might still look like. But after all you might reasonably say, if you’re one of my long-suffering readers, you’ve been retired eight years and if you haven’t found this ‘perfection’ by now maybe it doesn’t exist or maybe you’re looking in the wrong places.
So even with all the potential disruptions of Omicron waving back at me from the future, I have a thought or two about what I’d like the new year to bring. It seems like I can never entirely put these old habits (of trying to take control of my retirement life) behind me.
First and, I suppose, foremost following on from version 4, is it, of the virus, I’d like for me and all those close to me to have good health. From my perspective (who else) I’d like to have reasonable good health. Not perfect of course, I’m way past that but OK. Which means no Parkinson’s, thank you very much and that long-awaited appointment with the specialist about my prostate issues, happens soon. Oh, I nearly forgot then there’s the diabetes. I really must book my next blood test (the one I was supposed to set up in November). Let’s hope that continues to go reasonably well. As they say if you haven’t got your health you haven’t got anything. True, I think.
Next, I’d like to re-establish my musical activities. If I can, I will carry on with the Folk Fiddle group, but I would also, as I think I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, like to start again with the jazz piano, albeit in a different setting. So far I haven’t been very successful in this ambition as the people don’t respond to my enquiries. Still I will persist.
Then there’s those travel goals. There was never any doubt in our minds that travel would form an important part of Mrs Summerhouse’s and my retirement plan. It’s worked out fairly well even if, since the arrival of the dogs, we’ve been confined mostly to places where we can take them along.
This year we’re hoping to be a bit more adventurous. We’ve booked our flights to Denver and on to Durango in May. When we booked them a few months ago it seemed a fairly safe bet but now our decision doesn’t look so clever. Fingers crossed.
If we can make this happen in May then we can try and re-establish our annual trip (with dogs) to Ireland in September although who knows whether Ireland will let us in or whether the same dog-friendly house in Kerry, that we stayed in for the last six years, is still available. (Maybe even Scarborough in February?) So many question marks. And that’s now I’ve decided to do very little in the way of goal-setting. How much uncertainty might there have been if I’d decided to really take life’s bull by the horns? That sounds confusingly paradoxical doesn’t it?
And no clarity when it comes to our other main squeeze, the vineyard that is. Always a mystery, will we get grapes, how many, will we be reduced to tears by some terrible viticultural disease like we were a couple of years ago? But this year, as every year, we hope, rather than plan, for success. Truth be told we’re not very good at planning where the vineyard is concerned. I could aim for better or ‘embrace the existing version with all its messiness and imperfections’. Although I very much doubt whether this approach will ‘be the most transformative thing you’ve ever done.’ Time will tell.
No retirement resolution summary
So a little clarity would be nice always providing it’s a nice kind of clarity. Nothing in the bad news category needless to say. Of course I continue to hope for more success with this blog but I’m running out of ideas for improvement and who knows this may be the year when I stop writing it and even embrace (that word again) the decision.
*You’ll be relieved to know that the next day in the Guardian’s sister paper The Observer, all was back to normal with a relentless pursuit of our self-improvement goals. Had me worried there for a moment. Happy New Year once again.