My mother was always of a somewhat negative mind-set. ‘They say people are living longer, well, God help ‘em,’ was one of her favourites (she lived to 94 as a reward for her negativity). She insisted on calling the film ‘Three Weddings and a Funeral’, Three Funerals and a wedding. Well funnily enough she wasn’t so far wrong this last couple of weeks.
We have attended three funerals in two weeks. OK, it’s true that the middle one was a mistake. We went to the local cemetery three times but the middle one didn’t have a body. Well that’s not true, there was a body just not one we knew. My daughter, when we told her what we had done, said there is a name for people like us, showing up at the funerals of people we didn’t know for free food. But that wasn’t the case I simply got the date wrong by one week. Just as well we didn’t travel far.
Anyway as I say there was a body just not one we knew, so we came home. I was reminded of a friend of mine one of whose uncles at a funeral looked at another elderly relative and said, ‘by ‘eck lad (it was in Yorkshire) it’s not worth you going home.’
But we did go home and now we are off again. The first funeral was of somebody I didn’t know (again). She was a member of Mrs Summerhouse’s yoga class (much good did it do her, she was younger than us but clearly well-loved). Obviously, as I didn’t know her, tears were kept to a minimum. As with the last legitimate funeral we attended (a good friend) I was dry-eyed until the music came on. ‘Up on the roof’ that time and ‘Holding Back the Years’ this time. I had to have a strong word with myself. You wouldn’t know this woman if she fell on you, kind of word, so why are you tearing up?
So now I’m writing this ahead of the actual funeral and wondering what, if any, the song/s will be at this one, the funeral of a dog-walking chum. Maybe there won’t be one, after all it’s not, mandatory is it? They will turn you back at the pearly gates if you haven’t made a suitable choice? My dog-walking chum was what you might call a ‘gruff Yorkshireman’ so I wouldn’t be surprised if he declined the offer even though it was free. I’ll let you know.
So that is what it’s like to be admired for being a giving person. This was a genuinely generous, never happier than when he was ‘helping somebody else’ kind of person. I didn’t need the music ‘Fields of Barley’ and ‘Theme from the Deer Hunter’ to tear up. I felt a little flat for the rest of the day. Maybe a dose of reality in the form of a meeting with the tree surgeon would help. We’ll never know, he didn’t show up. Ah, life, but better than death I reckon.