A short Retirement blog about day-time TV – beware

Is this what they mean by relaxing? I’ve told you before that I have trouble with this idea of retirement being a time for relaxation, or idleness as I prefer to call it. After what happened yesterday I’m sure I was right when I say retirement is next to idleness or even right on top of it, if you’re not very, very careful.

I’m just going to write this down while it’s at the front of my brain. I’ll try and remember to post it on Friday as a shortened blog. It went like this. On Monday, after a little bit of tinkering in the garden (that word again), we came inside and had a bite to eat. I thought there’s a little cricket on and, since England won a game on Sunday, I thought I could cope with the challenge of watching.

The game was, in theory, a relaxing one to watch – Sri Lanka and the West Indies, neither of whom could qualify for the semis. Instead of being totally stressed out of my brain watching England, this might be a nice opportunity to simply watch a game of cricket. I had a slight preference for the Windies to win, so a little bit of interest in the result. We’d walked the dogs, done a bit of work. Ok, yes, it was three o’clock in the afternoon but hey the World Cup only comes round every four years. Where’s the harm?

What happened was, before I could start on my sandwich, the West Indies lost a wicket. Oh oh, I thought, I’ve jinxed them now. So I’d better stop watching. So far so acceptable but then I did a terrible thing. Instead of turning the TV off I idly glanced at the schedules.

Still not too late, but then on the blue screen, I saw something called Coast or Country. Now I’ve always had a bit of an inclination to live by the sea. Perverse of course because we do part of the time live in the country so I want the opposite. Typical my grandma would have said, you always want what you can’t have.

She has a point. The couple had to choose between a house in the countryside in North Wales or one on the coast near Conway. It is a part of Wales we know a bit from our stop-offs on the way to Ireland. I’ll just take a quick look, no harm done before returning to the cricket. Which, you will remember, I had defined as OK to watch in the afternoon.

But sacre bleu, things got out of hand and I got engrossed in Coast or Country. And then it happened. I realised I was watching day-time TV. This was beyond idleness, it was the work of the Devil. Never before had I done such a thing. True I used to have a big thing for Homes under the Hammer. This was when we were doing up my late mother’s house. So there was a bit of an excuse. You could almost call it educational – just. But, and here’s the point, only at 5 o’clock (i.e. tea time). To watch day-time TV earlier than this was a clear sin.

Yet here I was, not yet half past three, watching a non-sport related TV programme. Oh my goodness. This was beyond the thin end of the wedge, I was half way along the wedge and heading for the thick end. Next step, Lazee Boy reclining armchair (as in image above?), the TV remote, meals delivered by Mrs Summerhouse (fat chance) and me planning my retirement days to fit with the bloody TV schedules.

I felt physically ill. Yes, I rushed for the remote, turned off the TV. But, though relieved I had pulled back from the edge, I realised how close I had come to losing my mind, soul, standards. Whatever it was I nearly lost, I knew I couldn’t afford to lose it.

So having written quite often recently, at some length, about the thin line between relaxation and idleness, I realised that I had, without question, crossed that line. Before I know it I’ll be reading fiction books in the morning, maybe even in bed in my PJs. Actually there is no chance of this happening because the doggies wouldn’t stand or sit for it. But, given how close to the edge I had come, then thank goodness for the dogs and for this retirement blog in which I can share my nearly sins and vow never to repeat them.