There’s one aspect of retirement that in the ten years I’ve been retired has never quite worked out for me. Before I retired and when I contemplated what my retirement might look like I was pretty certain that this activity would form a part of my retirement life. But it was not to be. True it keeps popping up like one of those wobbly dolls (not sure what they’re called) that won’t lie down and these last couple of weeks have been one example of this.
I’m talking of charity work. I thought I would perhaps use my skills as a psychologist to offer support in some way, shape or form or perhaps work on one of the many heritage railways or just in one of our local charity bookshops. So many possibilities but none have happened so far and after ten years and not being the man I once was health-wise, it’s unlikely they will.
As you can see from the picture at the top we do support a number of charities of various kinds in the form of donations, but giving money is relatively easy and doesn’t require any effort or commitment on my part. What you may also be able to see (maybe not) is this letter asks for volunteers to work with the less fortunate. Cue the usual guilt feelings or even those feelings of regret. So far that’s all and the view that we would make a donation to this worthy cause.
Then something else happened. One of the musicians in the folk group I was a member of had a severe heart attack and nearly died. He may do just that, as they say he’s not out of the woods yet. His partner in the group wrote to us all that as well as the impact on his physical health, she also mentioned the detrimental effect on his mental health. Now this is an area I know about twice-fold. One, from my actual career as a psychologist (in its most basic way) and two, from personal experience with my own health problems. Suffice it to say that my own mental health has suffered.
So should I offer my support to him? Could I even manage to do this given the distance from my working as a psychologist and my frailty after my own health issues? Was this an opportunity for me and my volunteer work? I would probably have decided no, it was not such an opportunity, except I was encouraged my Mrs Summerhouse to, as they say, reach out to my former band mate and his partner. So, with some trepidation I reached out maybe over-reached out. I sent her an email.
As it turned out I need not have worried. It’s a few days since I sent my message offering my help and I have not had any response. Perfectly understandable, she has a lot on and I would be lying if I did not think well, I tried but now I don’t have to worry about not being up to the challenge. The challenge has moved on. Job done while wishing him all the very best of course.
I am reminded of Smashy and Nicey, I think, (radio DJs played by Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse in their sitcom of which I cannot remember the name). One says of the other ‘does a lot of good work for charity – hence the title of this blog – but doesn’t like to talk about it’ while the other is holding up a sign saying ‘charity’. I.e. tell the listeners about my charity work. If this means nothing don’t worry, I know what I mean and sometimes that’s all you can hope for.