What is it the song says – regrets I’ve had a few? In our case it’s definitely true that they’ve been too few to mention. On the whole we’ve taken our chances and experienced a pretty rich life, though I say it myself.
One possible exception was coming home to the UK having lived in New Zealand for 16 months. We had the option of staying there for the rest of our lives I suppose. Although the experience of our old friends to whom I referred in a previous blog, the ones who did stay on (in New Zealand) for 30 odd years and then came back to the UK recently, suggests nothing is forever.
Anyway the point is we didn’t stay even though we were very fond of New Zealand (arguably our favourite country in the world and with the way the UK is at the moment, even more so) we chose to come home. As my son succinctly put it, you were a shit for bringing me here (he didn’t want to come but as he was under 16 he had little choice), and you are an even bigger shit for taking me home (he’d grown to love the place as much as we did, well the girls anyway). To cut a ,long story short, we came home and pretty much stayed home, apart from Australia of course but that is another story.
I dare say if we hadn’t got the dogs ten years ago and got ill two years ago we would have travelled a lot more in our retirement (regrets well a few) and New Zealand would have undoubtedly been on our itinerary. But this far it’s not to be. And why this minor soul-searching at this point?
Well it’s all to do with a documentary on TV we watched recently. The programme was about Dan Carter and for those of you who dislike or know nothing of rugby (union that is) his name won’t mean a lot. He is a Kiwi (New Zealander) who played rugby as a fly-half – (look it up) for the All Blacks (the New Zealand international rugby team). It’s kind of heretical for me an English person but, while we lived there, the ABs were particularly dominant and I was very fond of them and their place in the zeitgeist of New Zealand life. Being a small country, with not too much going on, their place in the life of the country was of a proportion that would never happen here.
Anyway watching the programme about Dan brought back all of these memories. The fact that he was practising his kicking (that’s what fly halves, number 10s do) against a backdrop of the Canterbury Plains with the snow-covered Southern Alps in the background, sent a shiver down my spine quite unlike the usual shivers or shakes I get these days. Suffice it to say, as those of you who know the country will agree, this is an iconic view of New Zealand. I have tried to find a photo that supports this as above. I could find a view but not one with Dan Carter kicking a rugby ball in the foreground. Shame really as it’s this juxtaposition of natural beauty and sport that really defines the country. In my opinion at least.
So this prompted the ‘regrets I’ve had a few’ scenario and by extension it made me wonder whether it is either a) healthy or b) inevitable that by the time a person gets to 75 and has had a few health issues, he should allow himself or even encourage himself in considering whether any regrets are to be, well, regretted, or admired as a sign that well, you did some stuff with your life but no, not everything. There may be time to make up for it or simply to smile to oneself and think we did OK and OK is OK, if you see what I mean.