There have been a few significant (I’ll explain why I think they’re significant) retirement events just recently and with more to come. There’s the harvest in the vineyard about which I shall, (all being well) write later this week and then there’s our second hotel visit of the year and since the pandemic lockdown, that’s also later this week.
We’ve booked a London trip for December, the first for a couple of years. So plenty going off but none of these are what I want to write about in this retirement blog. I wouldn’t call these challenges as such but they should be happy events.
No, I want to write about the ‘reinstatement’ of my musical activities. Quite a few of you showed enough concern about my giving up the jazz piano part of my retirement to write supportive comments so I think it only fair to bring you up to date with the latest musical, retirement developments.
These come in the form of my first folk fiddle evening for a very long time*. This was last Thursday night. I’ve already told you it went well but let me give you a little more detail. The plusses of the evening and there weren’t really any negatives, let me say that before I go any further, were both technical and social. Compare this with the last jazz night and that’s quite a remarkable statement and a remarkable change.
Of course I have to admit that being the rhythm section to the violins is a bit easier than playing keyboard to jazz tunes but that’s not the point. I mean it wasn’t a complete doddle because I was playing my guitar along to tunes I didn’t know.
They were all new tunes, none of the ones I played all those months ago. Not only the tunes that had changed, so had the venue and the willingness of the caretaker to let us in before start time. And I was required to wear a mask and I hadn’t brought one with me. Still never mind it’s the actual performance that counts and that was decent though I say so myself.
But here’s part of the pleasure, that I could sight read these tunes never having seen them before. That gave the self-esteem a boost and that’s where the concept of significance comes in. To feel a degree of competence in one’s retirement years is, I think, vital. It probably doesn’t matter what the area is just to feel that you’re good at something is what counts. A bit of feedback to that effect from the group leader doesn’t hurt either.
We used to call it external reinforcement or at least I think we did. This against, you’ve guessed it, internal reinforcement which means in a nutshell you don’t need any feedback from others just what you say to yourself. You are your own motivator. If only, but this isn’t me I’m afraid.
And then there was the fact that people seemed genuinely pleased to have me back. I mean they weren’t ecstatic or anything that special, rose petals were not strewn, but they were quietly welcoming. And folks I needed to feel welcomed at this point in my musical life.
I’ve written in the past in these retirement blogs about trying to find my tribe in my retirement. After 8 years I couldn’t honestly say I’ve been successful in this challenge. And I’m not saying that these people (or the ones close to me in age) in this group are that tribe, but yes, they felt welcoming. Especially Frank the main guitar man whose words at the end of the session, ‘don’t be a stranger’, held a certain resonance for me. He’s a nice man, how rare can that be?
I’m not sure how much of an on-going role this group is going to play in my retirement. Not helped by the fact that I can’t attend this Thursday because we’ve had the hotel visit booked and paid for, for several months. And Thursday being later in the week will coincide with barn trips (although vineyard tasks will be fewer from now on) and trips down to Derbyshire, so it’s not going to be easy. But I’ve made a start. ‘Crossed the rubicon’ so to speak.
But, and this may well be the main point of this particular retirement blog, will the fact that playing under these circumstances is a bit easier than the keyboard, mean I get bored? The issue here is the one of setting challenges for oneself in retirement. Set the bar too high and you will fail. The effect on one’s self esteem is unhelpful you might say. It’s been very difficult for me throughout my retirement to hit the right note (not literally although sometimes that as well).
I need a degree of challenge to keep me mentally and physically healthy but obviously if I get this wrong (and it’s a fine, fine line) and set too greater challenges, and I’m an emotional wreck. Well, maybe that’s a bit dramatic but certainly not a happy chappy.
So there we have it, more complications, good things mixed in with the not so good but then such has been the way of my retirement for as long as I can remember. I will keep you informed as to how the folk fiddle approach to music in my retirement, progresses.
*The closest I’ve come to practising for this evening has been playing along to Transatlantic Sessions just to get the fingers a little loose. Time well spent I thought on this evening
PS pictured above my happy guitar, my Martin D28. Favourite out of my 20 guitars and the one I played Thursday night.