We’ve eventually made it back to the barn which is where I’m writing this retirement blog. For some reason, of late, we’ve confined ourselves to the Leeds house. So no barn / vineyard trips nor to the family mansion in Derbyshire. But I’m not entirely sure why but I’ll try and explain.
Partly it was because we felt generally lethargic, a bit worn out. Add to this my most recent medical issue, that of my pulled / strained / damaged ligament / muscle / joint in my left leg which may or may not be sciatica (may know more after my visit to the physio next Wednesday), whatever it is it has impeded my walking and you can see why, I at least, didn’t feel like moving far from home, which of course is what Leeds is.
So understandable in one way that we haven’t been anywhere for a fortnight but nevertheless this lack of activity bothers me. The restlessness takes over after about 3 days and I get antsy. So two opposing needs – to stay and to go – produce a kind of psychological tension in me.
The feeling of the need to go is a bit of a spin-off from my raging against the dying of the light phase. This need I seem to have to keep moving physically if not intellectually. The intellectual side of my retirement has been partly taken care of by my musical activities in the past. But sadly during the pandemic and in the absence of any ‘live’ performances jazz or folk, I haven’t seized the opportunity to play on my own.
You might have thought being somewhat confined to home would have been a perfect time to develop my skills or at least my understanding of some of the concepts underpinning say jazz or even Celtic music. Particularly with summer school coming up and the fiddle group already in action. But it hasn’t turned out this way. I’ve been slack, no other word for it or perhaps dilatory which is a nice word in itself but not an attractive concept.
The result is that when this guilt is added to our day to day lack of movement my restlessness steps up a notch or two. Which is strange in a way because it’s not that we’re doing nothing or even hanging about waiting for inspiration to strike. There’s still plenty going off.
For example, considering I thought I had delegated all responsibility for the cabin project to the children that’s taken up quite a bit of emotional energy this last couple of weeks. Phase one is completed and paid for now so onward with that.
Conversations with ‘our’ agronomist about the state of the vineyard have also figured. Wondering what state it’s in with this hot weather also featured in my middle of the night worry list. This, like the poor (to misquote Charles Dickens, I think), is always with us.
Then there’s been all the amusing health issues about which I wrote in such detail in a recent retirement blog and their attached medical visits to fill the two weeks. And more to come you’ll be delighted to hear and a visit to a sick friend who’s troubles make mine look almost irrelevant. And there was my birthday about which I waxed both eloquently and positively and which, as I said at the time, is unusual for me. I haven’t thanked the well-wishers for their Facebook best wishes, as yet. Must do that. But no time, so busy.
And talking of busy, some promising reading material as a result – new crime authors and an old one, a biography of DH Lawrence who was born two miles from where I was born in Derbyshire / Nottinghamshire border. I’ll do my book report later on if I really enjoy or really hate these books. And there’s sport – football, cricket, Formula one – of course, but generally I spit on sport as you know.
So yes, plenty going off, but as usual just the slight feeling that, as it doesn’t include travelling around now that we’re allowed, it’s not quite good enough. Weird, yes, I know but what’s a retired person to do? Oh yes, I remember relax and enjoy one’s retirement leisure time. If only.
As I said at the beginning of this retirement blog, we’re at the vineyard. I was quite anxious about coming here, for a number of reasons. Would another inventive and adventurous rabbit have found a way past the rabbit-proof fence? How would the fertiliser I applied before leaving last time we were here, have affected the vines? Would I be able to move around the vineyard with any ease when I suspected that it’s uneven and hilly surface, was the prime cause of my bad leg?
Anyway after a bit of a stroll round and, an inspection of the vines – flowers and all – this morning I can report, all good. I will of course write in more detail about what’s happening here in the next vineyard blog which might appear later this week. Who knows?
But as for the rest of being here. Well it’s easier to relax but then contradictory there’s work on the vines to do. I managed the walk along the dale which had been a worry, would I be able to cope with its uneven and hilly in parts terrain injured as I still was? I did. The 17th (Saturday) was the last day for objections to the planners about our change of use for the barn. Unless of course they put another one up and keep putting up green notices until somebody gives in and objects. Harrogate planners seem quite capable of such subterfuge.
So our retirement lives go on. Nothing spectacular just bitty and bobby stuff and even an element of getting away now thrown into the mix. That’s not too shabby is it?