I have to say that reading the news in the papers these days is a bit dispiriting. We actually stopped watching the 6 o’clock (and 6.30 local) news on TV because it set the wrong tone for the evening. I still, however, scan the BBC news on my phone in the morning. More out of habit than pleasure. At least this way you can skip over the bits you don’t like the look of, i.e. 95% of it.
But every now and again I’ll see a headline which intrigues me. Which is the purpose of headlines of course. True, the idea that I’m being manipulated by ‘clickbait’ irritates me profusely, but I have only so much in the way of principles so I do read some stuff.
Again, like the Facebook page, this article seems to have disappeared before I could take full notes but I think I have the gist of it. The headline went something like – ‘what could / should / do, they do with you when you’re too old to be useful?’ Can’t remember the exact wording but that was the idea.
Enough of an idea to make me wonder what the answer was. I thought it would be nice to have an answer ready when I’m asked the question. It might help my case. The answers in the article, as is so often the case when you have an attention-grabbing headline such as this one, were a tad disappointing. They tended to depend on where you were in the world and when. At least I assume this to be the case given the examples provided.
At the extremes of options were – kill you with an axe blow to the back of the head (a tribe in South America) as above image or, in other parts of the world, you’d be venerated. Now before you start to think well, that’s a no brainer (as indeed would be true if you’d had them bashed out), I’ll take the veneration over the axe blow to the head any day of the week, there’s a catch. The example in the article of said veneration, or at least one form of it, was that the younger members (of the tribe?) chewed to softness the food of the elderly who’d lost all their teeth, before they were given it to eat. No National Health false teeth presumably.
Failing the above as an option, a milder version of this veneration business, and one with no mushy food, is where you have people thinking you’re something special simply because you managed to live for so long. Nah, that doesn’t seem very special and not exactly an exclusive club.
Then there’s the ‘hem of garment touching’ option because you have achieved holy status. But I don’t fancy that either. People keep bothering you. You touch the hem of my cardigan once more and I’m out of this chair and I’ll kick the bejesus out of you. While that would reduce the veneration quotient, it might cause ill-feeling among one’s remaining relatives?
Hmm, now call me old-fashioned but personally I’ll take the axe blow over vicarious mastication. Yes, I suppose I might change my mind when the guy with the axe showed up. I’d probably be saying I was only kidding or, in the words of Billy Connolly, can’t you take a f—ing joke? But right now I’m going for the axe.
And the other veneration possibilities? In truth, none of the options fill me with glee. They’re not the kind of inspiration I was looking for when I stumbled across the headline on my phone. Thinking about it now, at least the headline did prompt some thinking (and this blog of course), I rather fancy something in-between.
If neither the axe nor the idea of veneration, in various guises, seem quite what I’m after, then what does? Another negative. In my old age I don’t particularly want to be regarded as some kind of source of great knowledge of special expertise. I don’t want to be deep into episode 234 of Homes Under the Hammer (as I have already confessed to when doing up my late mother’s house) when some relative or similar knocks on my door and says ‘crossbeam’s gone out of skew on treddle’ and only you know how to fix it (tribute to the late, lamented Terry Jones of Monty Python and yes, I know it wasn’t Terry that said these words, I believe it was Graham Chapman, also dead). Whole mill’s ground to a halt until you can come. Well, f–k off I’ve got another 22 episodes to catch up with, so I’m not going anywhere. You know what I mean. At least I hope you do or else you simply assume I’ve gone mad.
So not really with the veneration option. I must confess that Mrs Summerhouse and I have sometimes speculated about the option of pushing our wheelchairs off a cliff in tandem, while we still have our strength obviously and our sense of direction. No point pushing ourselves up the hill rather than off the cliff. But the thought of her wielding the axe isn’t quite so appealing. So no with the axe.
So yes, something in-between. Not exactly sure what this might look like. Some form of independent living with servants to cater to our every need. Sorry, I mean care workers in this day and age but no, hold on I was right the first time, servants / care workers, same thing. Surrounded by all my toys, assuming the same ones give me pleasure – guitars, piano, books, un-masticated food, plenty of good wine, none of your supermarket tat. That would be something like the setting.
As for me personally I’d like to be regarded as an old person who’s interesting and amusing. Just generally good company if only for a short while. That’s not much to ask for now is it? And that, after all my deep thinking for this retirement blog about what happens when we’re useless, is about all I’ve come up with. So far at least. But keep reading I may have other ideas.
My immediate thought about being “useful” at advanced years is as an example of a life well-lived, which I read that yours has been. I like to think mine too! From the point of view of the reincarnationists I like to think this later years are a reward for a life well-lived. Not by actively advising others how to live their lives, but as a silent example.
As you’re sometimes looking for topics to write about, how about the often comment that it’s harder to make and keep friends as we age. My view and observation from my own life and my friends’ lives, is that I’ve become more selective as to which friends I want to keep, and which acquaintances I want to befriend. When I was younger and working I thought I had to be friends with everybody, and they with me: now I’m more selective! But your psychological view will be welcome please.
I like your rationale for being comfortable in ‘old’ age. I’ll see if I can adopt it. Funny you should mention friends. I’ve never written a post about them but I have been feeling increasingly irritated with some of them I’ll give it some more thought and maybe a blog. Thanks for your thoughts I hope this gets posted!